Tone: it matters in your writing

When you’re trying to sell an idea or product, the last thing you want to do is alienate your audience. But, all too often, it can happen. I've seen it far too many times to count.

Let’s say a particular charity is asking for donations. You have some used clothing, so you offer it to the charity by email.

However, the charity does not want clothes—specifically, it needs money. Its response follows:

Thank you for your email. Our charity does not accept clothing. We only accept financial donations. To make a financial donation, please visit our website.

Sincerely, X

In the charity’s eyes, the information in this email is technically accurate: it reflects exactly what the organization needs. And the person sending the email doesn’t see the need to explain why the charity does not accept clothing donations.

But from the viewpoint of the donor/recipient of the email, how would you feel if this showed up in your inbox? Hurt? Unappreciated? Angry? I would venture to guess that you would take not only your clothing, but also that potential financial donation elsewhere.

The fact is that tone matters. And it rightfully should. As such, it is critical to get it right: especially in your first point of contact with potential clients/customers.

With a little finesse and a softer approach, here is a much better—and still very accurate—response:

Thank you for your email, and for your generous offer. We very much appreciate you thinking of us. Unfortunately, we do not accept donations of clothing, as we do not have capacity to store these items (we operate out of a small office with limited room). We do however accept monetary donations. Should you wish to make such a donation, please visit our website, where you can fill out an online form.

In the meantime, if you are looking for a place to donate your used clothing, you may wish to consult [insert charity name here].

Once again, thank you for contacting us. Without people like you in our community, we would not be able to do the important work we do.

Sincerely, X

Again, it comes back to knowing your audience. A well-meaning person wants to know that their actions are appreciated and making a difference. As the potential beneficiary of that well-meaning person, you owe it to them to use the right tone in your communications with them.