The finesse of asking for more money

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article about how to write a thank-you letter to donors. Now, your objective is to get more money—from those very same people.

You may feel uncomfortable approaching previous donors, but it is actually a smart business move. They already know your business, what you represent and the value their donations provide. In other words, you don’t have to spend time just trying to get them to notice you.

Here are a few tips for successful follow-up communications with donors:

Wait

Ensure a few months have gone by before you hit donors up for more. The last thing you want is to appear greedy.

Acknowledge their generosity

Do not assume that all of your donors are sitting on piles of cash. Your donor could be a retiree with little to spare—so they may view their $50 donation as a lot of money. You are welcome to ask for more, but must always show appreciation for their previous donations…no matter the amount.

Tell them something new

An extra bonus to waiting a few months is that you will likely have something new to tell your donors. Perhaps your business is planning an exciting new program—one that their donor gift could go toward.

Use a soft call to action

What is the difference between soft and hard calls to action? Tone and wording. For example, instead of “Would you consider giving again?,” you could say “Donations from generous people like you help us achieve X, X and X. We would appreciate your continued support.”

Make giving easy

Attach your contact information so they can contact a specific person, who can facilitate the donation process. Or attach a form that the donor can fill out and mail back (don’t forget to include a self-addressed stamped envelope). Even better: consider creating a monthly giving program, if you don’t already have one. Monthly giving allows your business to receive automatic regular payments—much more practical to the donor, as well as to you.

In a way, one could draw parallels between asking donors for more money, and negotiating with mom and dad for more allowance. Above all else, your interactions must always reflect your appreciation for what they have already done. Once you’ve softened them up a bit, your chances of “getting more” will increase substantially.

A mess of words does no-one any favours

I recently read an interesting article that reminds me just how important strategic messaging and writing are to building your company’s image.

The author, in his online quest to learn about Fortune 500 mega-company Huawei, visited its website’s “About Us” section—and came across this:

Huawei is a leading telecom solutions provider. Through continuous customer-centric innovation, we have established end-to-end advantages in Telecom Network Infrastructure, Application & Software, Professional Services and Devices. With comprehensive strengths in wireline, wireless and IP technologies, Huawei has gained a leading position in the AII-IP convergence age…

Unable to understand this hot mess of words, the author looked up Huawei on Google and Wikipedia, only to discover some very undesirable facts about them. (For one, almost 40 of Huawei’s employees have committed suicide over the last two decades—including at least six who have done it on-site.)

Granted, this information would have been available regardless. But that is not the point. The point is this: if Huawei had just taken time to develop strategic, well-thought-out messaging, the author would not have needed to search elsewhere for information (and, subsequently, inform all of his online followers about Huawei’s “dark side.”)

I do not believe that a company needs to adapt its messaging so every person in the world can understand it. But if it a relatively educated person cannot grasp the main concept, then changes should certainly be reconsidered—and incorporated. Immediately.

QUICK TIP: Keep it brief

Years ago in journalism school, I learned a great rule for writing for radio: one thought per sentence.

It’s not an easy rule to follow. I believe in fluidity of thoughts and ideas. In my eyes, short statements can appear choppy. And blunt (see how I did that?).

However, I do understand its importance: brevity is ideal in some situations.

Take brochure-writing. You have a limited amount of space. You don’t have the luxury of taking time to describe things. And your readers don’t have the patience for that anyhow. They want the basics, NOW.

The same goes for web copy. Visitors do not want flowery language. They do not want to scroll through pages of text to find the information they need.

And print advertising? Don’t even think about lengthy sentences. Every single line of text costs you a great sum of money. Now there’s a good reason to keep things brief.

In brief? Be brief...whenever you can.

Know what your words mean

Admit it: at some point in your life, you have probably thrown a few words into a conversation, presentation or email that you think sound right within the context…but you are not 100 per cent certain.

Why do we use words that we are not entirely sure we know? Is it that we associate “simple” words with a lack of intelligence? Perhaps.

The problem is that in our attempts to appear “smart” on a subject, product or service, we take a great risk: looking really, really stupid.

For example, what if, during a PowerPoint presentation to clients or all-staff conference call, someone asks you to paraphrase or—gulp—define what you mean, right on the spot?

To build a reputation as an expert in your field, you need to build trust. And to build trust, you must always be prepared to provide the answers that your audience needs.

Don’t let your target audience down: stop thinking that “simple” words are for simple people. Use words that you know you know. Not only will it save you potential embarrassment—your audience will appreciate it too.

How to write a "thank you" letter...beyond those two words

Expressing gratitude in your writing requires more than a simple "thank you." It is a difficult task for many organizations. How do you get past the first two words?

In terms of monetary donations, people generally want to know two things:

1. that their gift was received and recognized; and
2. where their money is going.

The following is a very basic template for writing a thank-you letter.

Paragraph 1:

Thank your financial donor for their gift and acknowledge their goodwill.

Paragraph 2:

Discuss the “need”—the reason you needed money in the first place. Paint a picture of the benefactor(s) of the funds.

Paragraph 3:

Discuss the “solution”—how the donor’s money will solve the need mentioned in paragraph 2. Use language to make the donor feel like they are personally making a difference.

Paragraph 4:

Restate your gratitude. Encourage the donor to stay in touch. Promise to keep them updated on how their donation is helping your cause (but be sure you can follow through on that promise before you send the letter).

Above all else, it is important that your gratitude is woven throughout the letter. You do not need to lay it on thick, but should ensure that you choose words to properly communicate your thankfulness.

Using the formula above, here is an example of a very basic (emphasis on the basic) thank-you letter:

Dear X,

Thank you for your donation. We very much appreciate your generous financial contribution to ABC Non-Profit.

Since late 2008, thousands of people in [country name]—infants, children, mothers, fathers and grandparents—have lost their lives due to a lack of water, or because they drank unclean water. Many continue to suffer. But it doesn’t have to be this way: they can have access to clean, fresh water and an improved quality of life—thanks to people like you.

Your donation is going towards an exciting initiative that is going to save thousands of lives. Later this year, we will send a team of volunteers to [country name]. There, they will work with community leaders to build state-of-the-art facilities to provide citizens with access to an abundant supply of clean, fresh and safe water.

We hope to have an update for you in the coming months as we embark on this project. Until then, once again, thank you so much for your donation. Simply put, we could not do this kind of work without people like you.

Sincerely,

X

It may take time to write the perfect thank-you letter, but by properly expressing your gratitude, you will greatly increase chances that the donor will give again.

Clichés: my two cents*

When people use the term “we need to think outside the box,” they’re using a cliché which...well...is actually inside the box.

According to dictionary.com, a cliché is "a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse.”

Clichés are sadly everywhere, but they’re especially rampant in the business world. Are you guilty of using any of the following?:

• Leverage your X
• We do not have the bandwidth to X
• We need to step up to the plate
• A leading provider of X

Even worse: cliches that bear no universal definition. For example, have you ever heard synergy, paradigm shift or core competency, and had no idea what the person was talking about? Or you thought you knew what they meant, but your understandings differ completely?

As a writer, it is my job to avoid using clichés. Of course, if a client is a strong proponent of such sayings, I will argue only so much. But it is my responsibility—my duty, if you will—to try to convince them otherwise.

Ultimately, clichés indicate a degree of laziness—and often, they do not add value to what you are trying to say.

A professional writer should be able to help a company develop new ways to deliver messages…and take it to the next level*. It’s a win-win* for the company, and its target audience/readers.

* All clichés used in this article were inserted deliberately

QUICK TIP: In-house vs. external writing

Thinking about writing the content in-house first, and then passing it to a writer/editor for proofing?

Think again: oftentimes, this results in the writer doing less proofreading and more rewriting.

In fact, it may take even more of the writer's time (and therefore more of your corporate budget) to rewrite the content, instead of having them start completely fresh.

Your best strategy? Hire an external writer from the very beginning; he or she can help you develop a strategy, key messages, and some fantastic content.

It's worth the investment.

"What's in it for me?"

“This banana is yellow and chock-full of nutrients!”

“This banana will give you more energy through the day!”

Which of the two above statements is more appealing? I am assuming that you would choose the second one. But why?

Think about it: if you eat the banana, what’s in it for you? What do you get out of it?

In essence, the first statement doesn’t answer the main question: “so what?.” It assumes that:

• you know what “chock-full of nutrients” means;
• you will read between the lines; and
• you will automatically interpret “chock-full of nutrients” as “gives you more energy.”

The first statement is also too obvious. Of course the banana is yellow! Of course it’s nutritious! Everybody knows this. Particularly if you are trying to fit content into a small area (e.g., in a brochure, or a newsletter), you are just wasting space on words that don’t lend any real value.

Finally, the first statement is just that: a statement. It’s cold. It’s impersonal. It isn’t talking straight to the reader. Granted, not every statement has to have the word “you” in it. But this particular statement is—quite simply—boring. It does nothing to grab the reader, mainly because they have not been factored into the text.

Simply put, if you want to sell a product or idea, you need to focus less on the features, and more on the benefits. Use “what’s-in-it-for-me?” as a guideline for your word choice, and you will have your audience eating (bananas?) out of your hand.

The delight is in the details

As the editor of a corporate newsletter, I was once tasked with collecting, reviewing (and sometimes rewriting) content submitted by internal employees.

One particular story caught my interest: a 14-year-old boy was embarking on a summer-long canoe trip, all on his own, to raise awareness and money for cancer research. It was a nice, feel-good story.

When I hit the half-way mark, however, the writer took a turn. Out of nowhere, one sentence stood out: on one of his previous travels, the boy had experienced a near-death situation.

Wow! My interest was piqued. What happened? Why was this guy still going ahead with his trip? Was he scared to get back in a canoe? What precautions would he take this time around?

But the writer took no time to elaborate on said situation. Instead, he proceeded to write about what the boy was planning to eat en-route.

Perhaps the writer didn’t see the near-death experience as important, but I certainly thought it was. In fact, it would have made the story all the more compelling.

Let’s put it this way: if this story had been written differently, it could have been a front-page story in a newspaper. The original, by contrast, would probably have been buried – page 3, at best.

Broadly speaking, omitting particular details in your writing can mean the difference between can’t-miss-it and can’t-find-it. (That being said, one should never misinterpret this as approval for being overly wordy.)

The challenge is in making every word count: providing just the right amount of information—interesting information, that is—and holding your reader’s attention long enough so they want to read it to the very end.

After all, that’s what makes a good fictional story. Shouldn’t the same be said for stories about the people around us?

Tone: it matters in your writing

When you’re trying to sell an idea or product, the last thing you want to do is alienate your audience. But, all too often, it can happen. I've seen it far too many times to count.

Let’s say a particular charity is asking for donations. You have some used clothing, so you offer it to the charity by email.

However, the charity does not want clothes—specifically, it needs money. Its response follows:

Thank you for your email. Our charity does not accept clothing. We only accept financial donations. To make a financial donation, please visit our website.

Sincerely, X

In the charity’s eyes, the information in this email is technically accurate: it reflects exactly what the organization needs. And the person sending the email doesn’t see the need to explain why the charity does not accept clothing donations.

But from the viewpoint of the donor/recipient of the email, how would you feel if this showed up in your inbox? Hurt? Unappreciated? Angry? I would venture to guess that you would take not only your clothing, but also that potential financial donation elsewhere.

The fact is that tone matters. And it rightfully should. As such, it is critical to get it right: especially in your first point of contact with potential clients/customers.

With a little finesse and a softer approach, here is a much better—and still very accurate—response:

Thank you for your email, and for your generous offer. We very much appreciate you thinking of us. Unfortunately, we do not accept donations of clothing, as we do not have capacity to store these items (we operate out of a small office with limited room). We do however accept monetary donations. Should you wish to make such a donation, please visit our website, where you can fill out an online form.

In the meantime, if you are looking for a place to donate your used clothing, you may wish to consult [insert charity name here].

Once again, thank you for contacting us. Without people like you in our community, we would not be able to do the important work we do.

Sincerely, X

Again, it comes back to knowing your audience. A well-meaning person wants to know that their actions are appreciated and making a difference. As the potential beneficiary of that well-meaning person, you owe it to them to use the right tone in your communications with them.

What makes a "writer"?

Years ago at my first full-time office job, I was having problems with my work computer and called the resident IT guy.

Once I was done running through my list of questions, he—ever the consummate professional—turned to me and said, “You know, the way you’re talking, it’s like you’ve never used a computer before.”

Now, more than a decade later, I wish that I had pointed out the obvious to him: that computers were not my specialty, but his; and, conversely, I did not necessarily expect him to know how to write a press release, develop a newsletter, or put together a national communications strategy for launching a product.

My point is this: just because I use a computer, that does not make me a computer expert.

The same goes for writing: even if most of your school assignments, work tasks or otherwise involve writing, that does not make you an expert writer.

Writing involves so much more than words—especially when you’re trying to convince someone to do or believe something, which is typically what I do in my profession:

• You must consider your audience, their sensitivities, prior knowledge (if any) of the issue or product, and their preferences.
• You have to predict what their “difficult questions” may be—and carefully find ways to answer them.
• You also have to do your research—find out what competitors are doing and saying, and what their key audiences are doing and saying.

All of this will guide the words you decide to put on paper.

Ultimately, writing is only half of what a writer actually does. Simply put, a writer—a professional writer—is also a strategist. And not everyone can claim to be one.

Especially not that IT guy.